How to ruin your potatoes

How to ruin your potatoes

Ruining Potatoes with Parsnips

parsnip potatoes
It’s not gross, per se, it just isn’t right.

I thought I had a brilliant idea last night.  I was going to mix my potatoes half and half with mashed parsnips!  Everybody who has known me for awhile is now wondering who this alien is that took over Christina’s body.  If you need proof it’s me, look at the final step in the recipe below.  It is me!

Some of my earliest childhood resentments were centered on a lack of mashed potatoes at the table (I had it rough). I am a mashed potato fiend. Why in the world would I try to replace any of them with parsnips? Let me explain.

I was recently telling a couple of my low-carb friends that the reason I could never join them is because of mashed potatoes and taco shells.  Both of them insisted that parsnips make a wonderful substitution.  I’ve heard this of cauliflower before, and while I love cauliflower…it is clearly not the same as mashed potatoes.  However, being a root vegetable, they said that parsnips are much more like potatoes.  I should have seen the red flag, which was the suggestion of using lettuce for a taco shell, but I only ever see flags after I’ve passed them.

I had never eaten a parsnip before.  They look like big, white carrots…but they must taste more like a potato?  No.  They taste like  big, white carrots.  This dish tastes like a big bowl of mashed carrots with potatoes in it.  It’s just not as bright orange as it tastes.

I thought that by trying it half and half with potatoes, I’d be enjoying my potatoes with less carbs.  I’m not even trying to be low-carb, just healthy.  This seemed like a healthy idea. It wasn’t necessarily gross, it just wasn’t mashed potatoes.  It’s like substituting turkey bacon for bacon, when it clearly isn’t bacon at all!

To my friends that enjoy mashed parsnips as a substitute for potatoes…. weird. weird. weird.  Just kidding, I still love you all and want to hear your ideas! This one just wasn’t for me.  On the bright side, it probably helped with my weight loss.

Ruined Potatoes (Parsnip Potatoes)

January 19, 2018
: 6
: 10 min
: 15 min
: 20 min
: Harder than making real mashed potatoes

If you insist on making this garbage, just know that it wont taste like mashed potatoes.

By:

Ingredients
  • Not enough potatoes
  • Too many parsnips
Directions
  • Step 1 Scrub your beautiful potatoes, and peel them if you prefer (I normally don’t) .
  • Step 2 Chop them into 1″ squares and place in large pot.
  • Step 3 Now scrub, peel, and chop the parsnips, and place them in the pot.
  • Step 4 Cover all the vegetables with water and boil until they are soft.
  • Step 5 Parsnips will take longer than the potatoes, as if it’s not bad enough that they’re ruining the whole thing.
  • Step 6 Strain the vegetables from the water.
  • Step 7 Mash with potato masher, or use a hand blender, until smooth.
  • Step 8 Now scrape it straight into the garbage can.

 


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